let me start with James Taylor.  The Secret of Life
the secret of love is opening up your heart...
listening to that right now.
Breathe deep.

Eight weeks ago I had kidney stone surgery and weighed over 300 pounds.  Never thought I would ever be there.  Never.   and actually I had been there for 3 years...
Just didn't care.
My father had died, i was probably drinking too much.  I was unhappy and I got a terrible evaluation from students who I thought loved me.  And I alienated a really good friend, and felt like I had lost all my friends.  I was sleeping three hours a night,and the only ones who seemed to care were my wife and son.  One of my best friends texted another friend to tell them that he thought I was going crazy.
The friends I had were my friends at Iron Springs...the brew pub I went to.   The more I went there,the worse is got.  And then my friend from the pub died...and another friend got in a motorcycle accident...

I am not ready to say i was a little unsure of the next day,but there were times I felt like throwing myself in the corner and never getting up.

So the secret of my life was that I had a suicidal grandmother and a crazy,anger filled dad.  I was not ready to make that the legacy for my wife and my son.

so,I have now gone paleo...or the caveman diet.  Cavemen didn't have bread....or pasta....or beer.

Well, right now I wont say that things are perfect,but I am moving back to the man I was...

but I am not sure how many people really checked in with me...
the secret of love is opening up your heart.
That begins with me.